SEX DRIVE

SEX DRIVE

Do you and your partner have mismatched sex drives? Have one of you decided that one person is a high sex drive person and the other person is a low sex drive person? Do you guys have difficulty navigating these differences and talking about it and coming up with workable solutions?

Sex drive is a common term that people often use to describe how often they want to have sex. Some people would like to have sex daily, some people like to have it twice a day, some people would like to have it once a week, twice a week, once a month. Any of these is perfectly fine. The concept of low sex drive and high sex drive is relative to the partner that you have. I can have a couple that one person wants to have sex once a day and the other person wants to have sex twice a day. The person who wants sex once a day would be considered the low sex drive partner in this relationship. So, the concept of low sex drive and high sex drive in creating these labels often doesn’t help facilitate conversation, understanding or finding ways to address it. They are an arbitrary description that is not helpful.

Learning how to navigate how much sex you want to have with your partner is similar to learning how to navigate how we are going to spend money, how much time we are going to spend with the in-laws, how much time we spend on our phones. These are just common disagreements. Too often though, people wrap a lot of feelings and emotion around sex because there is the dependency that you can only have sex with your partner. If your partner doesn’t want to have sex when you want to have sex, this can lead to a lot of emotional distress, pain and suffering. For the person who doesn’t want to have sex, they can feel a lot of pressure, anxiety and guilt. All of these things are difficult to discuss and navigate and come up with solutions.

Therapy helps couples navigate these complicated issues around sex and intimacy, sex drive, how much, when, how do we want to do it and all the other issues that go along with having sex. Sex is also impacted by things that seem to have nothing to with sex – keeping your agreements, parenting, busy work schedules, how we manage chores. All of these things also affect how desirable our partner is.

If you would like to learn more contact us at +65 9030 7239 or e-mail us at tammy@allinthefamilycounselling.com.

All in the Family Counselling has been providing therapy for two decades in Singapore and Southeast Asia. Tammy Fontana, our lead therapist, has great success in working with couples who face difficult issues around sex and intimacy, infidelity, communication, anger management, anxiety and depression. She has great success in working with difficult cases. If you would like to learn more, reach out and contact us now.