FAILING AT SEX

FAILING AT SEX

Are you afraid to have sex because you are afraid to fail at it? Does the fear of failure produce so much pressure and anxiety that you just avoid sex all together? When your partner tries to initiate sex with you, do you immediately feel pressure and anxiety around your ability to perform? Do you have difficulty discussing this concept or topic with your partner? Does the idea of failure just become so heavy and burdensome that sex becomes unappealing?

Unfortunately, for some individuals the idea that they can fail at sex prevents them from engaging and enjoying a wonderful and natural part of their relationship. The fear of failure immediately makes them think about performance issues, getting things right and all this pressure that comes along with being perfect. This intense pressure that they have from the way they think about sex, makes them want to avoid sex. After all, who would want to get failing grades at sex.

Unfortunately, this concept or way of thinking about sex as something that you can fail at is already a base line starting sex isn’t something that you can fail at, but something to have fun and play. Unfortunately, for individuals who get hung up on the idea of failing at sex, their education and knowledge around sex somewhere along the way got disrupted and distorted.

Fortunately, there is a lot of help for people who have this issue around failing with sex. They can learn new ways to enjoy sex and find new belief systems and ways to communicate and talk about it with their partner. So, there is hope and there is a way to feel confident and be able to enjoy sex. Therapy is just such a thing that helps people address their beliefs, their thinking and their feeling. Failure of sex also has to do with education, as well as establishing healthy boundaries and getting a comfort with talking about sex and communicating. You can’t fail at sex. Sex is just something we do for fun but we need to have new ways to think about it and look at it.

If you would like to learn more about therapy for your sex life and how to address fear of failure or any other issues, contact us at +65 9030 7239.

All in the Family Counselling Centre has been providing therapy for just under two decades. Tammy Fontana, lead therapist and clinically trained sex therapist, has been helping individuals and couples navigate the challenges of relationships such as communication issues, sex and intimacy and conflict.

She has experience in working with difficult cases. Contact us to learn more.