What does Sex mean to you
How do you refer to the act of intimacy? Do you call it lovemaking? Do you call it sex? Do you use some other, graphic term? Do you call it something different depending who you have sex with, or perhaps what you want from it?If you’ve ever studied any Buddhist principles, you’ll know that nothing in the world has meaning. Even sex has no meaning. However, many people create exceptionalism around sex, and they want sex to have some meaning.
Now – religions, families, society, culture – everybody gives meaning to sex, but there is no meaning inherent in anything, sex included. As a couple, issues can arise, and conflict can arise because couples cannot agree on what is the meaning of their intimacy. Reflecting upon your own meaning that you give to this act, also can challenge an individual who isn’t comfortable owning their own sexuality.
One of the amazing things about not having any inherent meaning attached to sex is that it offers creativity, fulfillment and novelty each time a couple engages in an act of intimacy. But It also can be an opportunity for conflict if a couple doesn’t have good communication skills and comfort around discussing sex.
Sex, in a relationship, can be used for many things: it can be an expression of love, an expression of desire, an expression of caring; but it can also be used to make up after a fight, it can be used to reassure one or both people that the relationship is ok; it can be a cheap form of entertainment, it can be used as an act of self-expression, or an act of autonomy; it can be used as an act of anger… There are huge meanings that can be attached to sex and intimacy at any given time, even with the same person.
The ability to use sex so creatively as a form of expression within a relationship requires enormous self-awareness and communication skills. Couples need a deep sense of trust so that they can talk about what they like without fear of judgement. The inability to discuss the meaning of sex, how you want to use it, what it represents, and the conditions can really affect how people can enjoy it.
If this is something you are struggling with and would like to explore how to make your sex life better or restart it, or just address any issues and concerns you have regarding your own sexuality, contact Tammy Fontana at All in the Family Counseling Center Pte ltd to talk about how therapy might help you. Please whatsapp us at +6590307239
Schedule an initial consultation
Through an initial consultation we'll help you frame goals and outcomes of therapy and what that would look like to achieve it.