Masturbation – when it is a problem



Masturbation – when it is a problem

Are you somebody who continues to masturbate two to three times a day and cannot seem to stop or control your masturbation impulses? Do you find yourself scrolling the internet looking for sex workers in order to seek out their services? When you are travelling overseas, are you finding yourself engaged with prostitutes? Are you in a loving relationship, yet you are using porn to the point of dissatisfaction with your own self esteem? Are you preoccupied at work with masturbation and in fact finding yourself go to the bathroom to masturbate? Do you want to have a sense of control over your sexual impulses? Are you embarrassed by your behaviour of engaging in sexual massages or prostitutes even though you are in a happy marriage?
Some people, men in particular, are struggling with overwhelming sexual impulses. The impulses often lead to the person acting out in a way that is confusing and disconnected from their beliefs and values. The individual may be overcome with embarrassment and shame. The shame prevents them from seeking help. Does this sound familiar?
People may use sex for all sorts of reasons: to manage their self esteem, to feel more masculine or they may even use it to manage the anxiety and stress from financial pressures of their life or the stresses at work.
Whatever the reason, feeling out of control and compromising your health and safety to satisfy your sexual urges can be a horrible position to find oneself at. There is often a huge amount of shame and stigma for a person. It can be very isolating and affect their ability to deal with it. Many individuals are so confused because they are in a relationship with a person they love. They cannot understand why they are acting out in a sexually harmful way even when they have a person they love.
People will go through various cycles of engaging in unwanted sexual services of sex workers or masturbating to porn, followed by huge amounts of guilt and shame; promises to oneself never to this again. Then a period of abstaining only to find themselves again caught up in the cycle of indulging in behaviours that make them feel bad about themselves and bring themselves shame.
Because of the stigma associated with these types of behaviours many people do not talk about it or seek out help and are consumed with feelings of self worthlessness and perhaps even suicide. Many people are afraid of their partner who they love and care about finding out about their behaviours and not understanding them. Maybe you don’t even understand your own use of the sex workers or porn, or other behaviours that leave you feeling confused.
 If you want to stop the cycle of self loathing and hate and find a new way back to healthy sexual expression, therapy can be a safe and effective way to do that by establishing a therapeutic relationship with a clinically trained sexual therapist. If you want to see how therapy might be able to help you contact our therapist Tammy Fontana at All in the Family Counseling to explore how we may help you. You can set an initial consultation up with our therapist to help you assess how therapy may benefit you.

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