Are you researching and googling ways to improve your diminished sex life with your partner? Are you trying to solve for your low libido or your partner’s lack of interest? Have you attempted to try different sex positions or use different sex toys or costumes to spice up your sex life but with no luck? Are you getting frustrated and starting to loose hope that you’ll ever get back the sex life you once had and enjoyed?
Well, you are like so many of my other clients. First of all you need to be congratulated for taking charge of your relationship’s sex life and caring about this aspect. Sex is important to a relationship and its role, conditions and what is enjoyable changes over the course of a long term relationship. Trying to keep a sex life interesting is important to maintain the relationship.
If you like, many of clients before you, are afraid to seek help or speak with a stranger. You are probably feeling embarrassed and ashamed. Sex, unfortunately, gets really loaded with a lot of unnecessary meaning that makes it really complicated to talk about and negotiate. You, like many of my clients, before they came in to see me, may wonder what the heck can a therapist help you with on your sex life. You may feel like the therapist will be critical and analyze your performance.
Again, you need to be congratulated for even considering therapy for your relationship and your sex life. Unfortunately, very few people seek out therapy to prevent problems or attack issues before they become huge. It takes a lot of courage to seek outside help, meet with essentially a stranger, and talk about some of the most private and intimate thoughts and details of your life. Congratulations! You are very brave and courageous and clearly care about your relationship.
Well to help you decide about whether or not to take that first step, I wanted to help set your mind at ease.
Sex Therapy isn’t as explicit as the name might indicate. During the first session we, either you and your partner or yourself, will be meeting to introduce you to the therapist and the process of therapy. The therapist will get background information about, you life, your relationship. It will be discussed how you think therapy works, given what you may or may not know about therapy. Then the therapist will help explore with you what are your concerns and what you want from therapy for yourself or your relationship.
Once that is discussed the therapist will educate you on the process and how to help you achieve the goals.
One of the things to be clear about is that sex therapy is dealing mainly with the most important sex organ in the body: THE MIND. That’s right sex starts in the mind. One of the biggest mistakes individuals or couples make is making sex a DOING problem. It is very hard to DO SEX when you feel disconnected, angry, hurt or even bored with your life or your relationship. Many people do not know how to prioritize, talk about or plan for sex in a long term relationship.
Sex therapy will help couples get to the improved quality of DOING sex, but usually people need to learn to enhance and expand their concepts of sex, sexuality and eroticism in a long term relationship. Sex therapy really isn’t as much about the doing, there are tons of free tips and techniques on how to do sex. But mainly, therapy helps couples learn to think about sex, figure out what they want from their sex life and how to plan and prioritize it so that they can do the amazing sex and have the feelings they want from sex.
Just like anything in adult life, you must organize and take charge of your sex life just as you do your career, your money, your vacation, your child and retirement.
Too often what ruins an amazing sex life isn’t the lack of doing but the lack of thinking.
If you are curious you can make an initial appointment.
To learn more please contact me at tammy@allinthefamilycounselling.com or sms or whatsapp me for rates and appointment at +6590307239
Or to learn more about therapy you can purchase or video series on therapy at http://mynewbeginningsclub.com/therapy-education-information/