Are you feeling frustrated, hurt and angry that no matter how many different ways you have been trying to approach your wife for sex, she rejects you? Have you tried staying in shape, helping around the house, helping more the kids all in a bid to convince your wife you care and to give you sex but nothing works. Are you confused when she says doesn’t feel connected to you and that is why she can’t have sex with you? Or maybe she says doesn’t want sex because the only time you are nice to her is when you want sex, but you don’t feel this is true.
Maybe you are at the point where you love your wife, but you need sex and are considering looking outside your marriage to solve this problem but are concerned about the consequences. Plus it isn’t something consistent with your values. You are feeling lost and frustrated and bad about yourself.
If you feel emotionally disconnected and want sex to connect to you and nothing you do helps but desperately want to improve your marriage through improving your sex life, therapy for you can help
Sex in a marriage is nearly impossible to fix on your own. You have probably tried very hard. You have probably been left with a damaged self-esteem, feeling embarrassed and humiliated at asking for sex with your husband and being turned down. You at a loss as to what to do. All you know is that you are sad, humiliated and probably reaching the point of anger at the rejection. You know you don’t want a celibate marriage but also don’t want charity sex from your husband. You want him to want it and you are willing to work at but can’t figure out why he won’t.
You may even have wondered if she is having an affair. You seem to observe that her interest in sex has dropped significantly after having children. She may even assure you that she loves you but that she is tired and stressed out with the kids. But that doesn’t help you. You are now at the point that you want her to see a doctor or therapist to address “low sex drive.”
One thing to consider is getting help for yourself. Improving your sex life cannot be a solo activity. It is not just your problem or your husband problem. It is a relationship issue. However if you spouse won’t help you, the next best thing is to work on yourself. Sometimes people want to focus on their sex life for the wrong reasons.
I often help people understand how they can improve their lives and relationship by working on themselves even if their partner doesn’t want to come.
You may be thinking, “why should I go to therapy when I want to have sex and improve the relationship”. Well, yes this is true, but part of the limiting belief you may hold is that therapy is a punishment or for people who lack motivation. In fact, therapy won’t work on someone if they don’t want to change. If you want to change, think of therapy as an investment in yourself and your quality of life. It isn’t about punishment or fixing broken people. I often help people to see dynamics in their lives and relationships that they can change and improve without their spouse coming.
Often lack of interest in sex by spouse can be more of symptom than a problem. If your spouse doesn’t want to come, think about helping yourself, that is the only thing you can do. In therapy, I can help you see different angles or issues you may not have seen that can help you resolve the situation.
Make an appointment to learn how I can help you in this difficult situation.
If you are curious you can make an initial appointment.
To learn more please contact me at tammy@allinthefamilycounselling.com or sms or whatsapp me for rates and appointment at +6590307239
Or to learn more about therapy you can purchase or video series on therapy at http://mynewbeginningsclub.com/therapy-education-information/