Are you in a long-term relationship that has seen your sex life decline? Are you wanting to have more sex with your partner but they are often making excuses or turning you down? Do you worry that your partner is no longer attracted to you, yet you know you are an attractive person? Do you think that the reason why your partner is not having sex with you has something to do with attraction to you so you are working and changing how you dress, your body, trying to do things to be more physically attractive?
Sexual attraction in a long-term relationship is a complicated matter. Too often people think attraction has only to do with physical attraction. Physical attraction to another person gets you the foot in the door to meeting somebody but in order to stay with somebody, attraction is also related to how somebody makes you feel. Does somebody make you feel accepted, safe, happy, contented, desired? Do they make you feel liked?
Emotional attraction is a big part of physical attraction in a long-term relationship. In a long-term relationship, we moved beyond the initial superficial contact where you just see what somebody looks like and your imagination fills in how you think that person will be in the bedroom or in daily interactions. As you start dating the person and you move more towards long-term relationship and living with the person, you start to see all of the person. This total view of the person will affect whether or not you are attracted to them.
In a long term relationship, you see the following aspects:
- how the person deals with life frustrations,
- you see their daily hygienic habits,
- you see how they manage financial matters
- how they manage career, how they manage setbacks and disappointments,
- you see how they handle conflict,
- you see how well they accept or not accept who you are and how they deal with that.
If you are in a relationship with somebody who has a difficult time managing their emotions, managing life disappointments and setbacks this can kill your attraction to them. If they have a hard time handling things that do not going their way and get angry or rejecting, this will affect your attraction to them. If they can be very critical, aggressive, hurtful, these things will affect your attraction to them.
So all of these things that have nothing to do with the bedroom, continue to be more negative, your attraction and your desire to have sex will go down.
Many people are trying to look too often at the physical aspects of sex and ignore the emotinal aspects of sex. In order to have good sex they often neglect the most important parts of sex, which are the emotional and psychological aspects. How somebody make you feel, how you feel around this person, how well do we handle conflict, life disappointments and emotions keeps you attracted to them.
Things that have nothing to do with sex and that are outside of the bedroom are often the ones that most impact sex in a long-term relationship. If you are struggling in your relationship and your sex life is being impacted contact All In The Family Counselling Center Pte Ltd at +65 9030 7239 to find how we can help you. Do not make the mistake of waiting until you hit a crisis point. Start now learning the skills to help you navigate your relationship and improve your sex life.
All In The Family Counselling Centre Pte Ltd has been providing therapy for over a decade. We have been providing online therapy since 2015. We are equipped to handle difficult cases, infidelity, individual issues, anxiety and depression. Contact us now to learn how we can help you.
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