Face to face therapy



Face to face therapy

Are you looking for a therapist for family counselling? Do you have this idea that you want face to face in an office? Are you struggling to understand how therapy is going to help you and you think that the most important aspect is that you can physically meet with the therapist? Do you have ideas that physical presence in a physical office is more effective than other ways of doing therapy? Are you confused as to how therapy is supposed to help you?

So many people wait to get therapy untill they are in a desperate stage. The crisis or desparation can be the discovery that their partner is having an affair, or they are crippled by anxiety, panic attacks, or  depression that is making it harder and harder for them to carry on with their daily functioning, such as going to work, parenting or doing social activities.

When people are in such an overwhelmed state they may have this idea of wanting the therapist to be responsible for and solve for their feelings and situations Many people have this idea that they are just going to arrive in the therapist’s office and be able to give all their problems and feelings over to the therapist to fix. Therefore they want to be in a physical office.  Therefore the IDEA of an office feels more comforting. The feeling that the physical office will some how be more healing. However, this idea is not correct and will lead to great disappoint as well as missing out on engaging in an excellent therapist.

What does therapy mean? And what is doing therapy all about?

Simply it is about the relationship you develop with the therapist. It is not about the mode. Let’s face it, people grow apart in marriage living in the same house. Family members are not close growing up in a house together. This idea that physical presence is what makes us close is a wrong idea. It’s about communicating, talking, expressing and connecting on feelings. It’s about being emotional and psychologically presence. Not an office or physical presence. Many couples talk about how disconnected they are while being in same physical proximity. This idea is harmful, especially to thearpy.

Myth of Coming to an Office:

The idea of coming to an office may feel nice and comforting but the reality is often different. Coming into a physical office requires a lot of effort. You have to spend at least 30 to 40 minutes driving yourself in or you will have to anticipate 10 to 15 minutes to arrange a taxi, then you have to figure out where you are going, find parking, pay parking, walk from the parking lot into the therapist’s office. Then you may have to wait because you don’t want to be late. Because if you are late, the time will come out of your session.

The whole event of trying to get to the office can be incredibly stressful and disruptive to your day. The whole commuting process can be very upsetting and disruptive and frustating and not conducive to therapy.

Therapy itself requires a lot of work, you have to repeat the same process to get home or to work after going through a lot of emotional work – walking to your car, paying to get out, figuring out how to get back. The whole commuting time can be 30 to 40 minutes each way and then the therapy session is 50 minutes. So, for one therapy session you are investing 2 hours of your time.

This is very difficult. Now imagine doing that every single time for the next 6 to 12 months or 2 years. Often people’s complex cases will require weekly therapy, for 20 to 52 to 100+ sessions. Is that really realistic? Can you commit to that level of disruption in your life? If you can’t commit to this process you won’t be able to achieve your goals especially if you are dealing with very complex issues such as trauma, infidelity, severe anxiety or depression or complex and long standing relationship or sex problems.

However, All in the Family Counselling Centre Pte Ltd and Tammy Fontana have been providing face to face therapy via skype, zoom and whatsapp video since 2015. This way of delivering Ms Fontana’s skills is highly effective for couples that have to travel, have busy work and family lives or move to new locations. The flexiblity of days and times and location ensure couples can meet weekly more easily and effeciently

If you are considering therapy, you need to challenge your idea of face to face. All In The Family Counselling has been providing face to face therapy via Skype, Zoom or WhatsApp Video since 2015, long before the pandemic. The reason for this delivering method is that it allowed the best flexibility for clients who are travelling, who are relocating, who would need to be spending time overseas or even separate from their partners. The online modality offers people consistency which, outside of the skill of the therapist, is the most important thing.

Another ideas that people have to challenge and understand what actually therapy is about. It is not you coming passively and sitting in an office and dumping your problems onto the therapist. Therapy is about talking, learning to think in new ways, self reflection and building a relationship, all of which is done via face to face with our therapist. You can sit in the comfort of your office, chair or home.

Problems actually sit inside of you and are a product of your belief system or a product of the way you think and look at the world and how you process your feelings, the therapist will work with you to examin and develop new ways to think and process feelings. This does not require an office. Therapy has new modes available to us that we didn’t have before. Just as we now have video phones, a long time ago people didn’t want to use phones, they wanted to meet or they didn’t want the video. Therapy will challenge your beliefs ideas and the first one can be your idea about therapy or how it is done.

The therapist works with you to help you learn new ways to deal with the situations you have created in your life by helping you to learn how to be self-reflective, introspective, understand and uncover dysfunctional belief systems, giving new ways to think and look at the world. All this is done through talking. All of this is extremely effective via face to face therapy done online through Zoom, Skype or WhatsApp. However, clients end up saving anywhere between 30 and 90 minutes in commute time. Saving this time, offering flexibility of where the client does their therapy and the time of day, ensures that the client can commit to regular weekly therapy which will ensure the best outcome.

In order to have a good outcome, you need regular weekly therapy to build a relationship with the therapist, to learn how to do therapy, to practice and reinforce the new ways of thinking. Therapy is very different from counselling or coaching. Therapy is really about developing an intimate understanding of self, how you think, how to become aware of your beliefs and then, more importantly, learning all the skills to change them.

Awareness of a problem does not mean you will know how to fix it. Many people are aware they have a drinking problem, many people are aware they are overweight, many people are aware they have problems in their marriage. The awareness does not lead to the answer. Therapy then takes it to the next level of helping people to uncover and practice in therapy how they will fix it.

We also understand the importance for different modes of therapy which is why we offer intensive session of minimum of 3 days at 5 hours each day that is done with Ms. Fontana in her on a site condusive for therapy. We also provide retreats in Croatia and Austria for groups and couples.

If you are considering therapy do not be limited by your beliefs it has to be in a certain way. This rigidity is often a reflection of thinking ways and problems that you are currently having in your life. Even the first step of doing therapy challenges your ideas about getting help.

Don’t limit yourself to access to the best therapist possible because of your ideas or belief about how it’s supposed to be done. Things are constantly evolving and changing as technology gives new ways for us to give help. Contact us now at +65 9030 7239 to learn how All In The Family Counselling and Tammy Fontana, lead director, can help you.

All in the Family Counselling Centre is one of the oldest therapy institution in Singapore and SE Asia. We provide therapy and counselling for sex and intimacy. We provide relationship therapy. We provide individual therapy for anxiety, depression, relationship help.