Avoiding Bad Feelings: The problems its creates for you to do this
Are you somebody who tries to avoid bad feelings or situations that will produce bad feelings? Are you often overcome with anxiety and worry and you are trying to find ways to avoid dealing with negative situations? Are you somebody who is doing a lot of activity, such as reiki, doing positive thoughts, trying to do a lot of positive activities all in an attempt to suppress bad feelings? Do you often have thoughts about you are not in a healthy relationship, you are worried about your job, you are worried about friends not liking you, you have feelings of imposter syndrome? Do you feel afraid of feeling bad feelings?
One of the most important skills that an adult can develop is learning how to process and correctly deal with the feelings that come from life. Learning how to deal with life means you have to learn how to deal with situations that can produce bad feelings. Life has feelings of disappointment, sadness, hurt, anger, upset, unfairness, rejection and loss. These are painful feelings but they are very useful feelings to understand what’s happening in the world.
Unfortunately, many individuals never got the skills to deal with these type of life feelings. These feelings are important because they often come from situations in which we are in relationships that aren’t good for us, whether that’s romantic or personal. It’s helping us learn how to see what people are trying to tell us in our relationships at work, family, friends and romantic interest.
When people don’t know how to deal with these, they often use primitive forms of coping mechanism, such as denial. These might look like making excuses for people – constantly making excuses for why people are doing hurtful things to them.
Other times, people just won’t see signals and messages that people are giving them that they are not interested in them, that they don’t want to hang out with them or talk to them. They won’t know how to read these signals and then they are often pushing and crossing other people’s boundaries and then this can result in confusion for the person who doesn’t know how to read these signals. They may not understand why people don’t call them back, they may not understand why they can’t get second dates, why they didn’t get job interviews, people are not inviting them to things… They just have a hard time reading situations because they don’t know how to deal with their negative feelings. Again, they deal with them by making excuses or just ignoring them or rationalizing them.
One of the most important skills you can have to increase your ability to have good healthy relationships, make more money and navigate the world is learning how to deal with your feelings that come out of life situations, especially around negative situations.
All in the Family Counselling helps people learn this very important skill. It is absolutely vital and in terms of your ability to have healthy relationships, parent, navigate work and life in general.
Life does give us curve balls in which we will feel bad but it’s important to understand the information from the bad feelings. People who avoid their negative feelings often have intense anxiety and worry because their unconscious is trying to tell them something important, but they are suppressing it and then the anxiety increases but the person doesn’t know how to read it or interpret it.
If you would like help and would like to learn how we might help you deal with your feelings, increase your ability to process the negative feelings that life can produce, improve your boundaries and just overall improve your quality of life through better relationships, therapy can help you.
Contact us at +65 9030 7239 to learn how we can do that or you can send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
All in the Family Counselling Centre has been providing therapy in Southeast Asia for just under two decades. Tammy Fontana, lead therapist, has been helping individuals and couples with their relationship skills, communication skills, sex and intimacy skills, anxiety and depression. She is very skilled in working with difficult cases and dificult situations. If you would like to learn more, contact us now.
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