Dealing with feelings when you are logical
Do you pride yourself on the fact that you are very logical? Do you feel that feelings are a waste of time? Do you consider yourself a very rational and logical person who’s not easily moved by emotions? Do you feel that you are in a relationship with a person who is very emotional and doesn’t use logic? Are you often accused of not having empathy or feeling?
Many clients, often engineers, accountants, self-describe as logical people. They are often very proud of how they use their logic to solve many of life’s dilemmas. They often state that they are not often swayed by emotions.
They are very good at their work, however, in their personal relationships they are often running into problems. If you find yourself fitting this description and you’re in a relationship with a partner who is often feeling dismissed by you, misunderstood by you, hurt by your lack of feeling or emotion and you want to have help to improve your relationship, therapy can help you.
If you find that you are often exasperated and frustrated by offering very good solutions to your partner’s emotional problems that they refuse to take or that they argue with you, you may actually be missing out on something. No matter how logical you are, we still need to use our emotions in our dealings with people, especially our personal relationships.
What many people, who self describe as logical, are missing subtlies in relationships. Many things cannot be solved by solutions or logic only. For many people, they need to be able to talk about and express their feelings which are independent of what they may decide to do.
Oftentimes feelings do not need to have a logical solution, instead they need to be processed. People connect on their feelings and they need to understand their feelings. Some people grow up in families where feelings are not expressed or talked about, but instead subtle messages were communicated that these feelings aren’t discussed or we don’t talk about these feelings or you have no reason to feel these feeling so please don’t share them with us.
If you grew up in a family like this, being with somebody who is very emotional, on one hand can be very attractive because they feel very passionate and this can make you feel good and be attracted. At the same time their strong emotions and feelings can overwhelm you and you don’t now what to do other than do what you normally do which is to provide logical solutions. If there is a mismatch between you and your partner, their feelings and your logic, and you would like to develop skills to help better bridge this gap, therapy is an effective way to help you do this.
If you would like to learn more about how therapy can help you please contact us at +65 9030 7239, send us a WhatsApp and we’ll provide you information about how you can go ahead and make an initial consultation to learn how therapy can help you. All in the Family Counselling has been providing therapy for over a decade.
We’ve been providing online therapy for over four years, long before the pandemic. Online therapy is not a substitute or less than solution to office. In fact, it is the safest way to provide therapy, offers greater flexibility and consistency. If you would like to learn more, please contact us now.
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