Making over your marriage is about learning new effective relationship skills that can ensure you a life time of happiness and help you navigate difficult obstacles that can arise in a relationship such as children, sex, career and time spent together or apart. Too often couples only engage counselling at a crisis state when a relationship is so far gone that repair and improvement is difficult at best.
What I’ve seen as a relationship counsellor and what the research shows is that couples experience a decline in satisfaction in their relationship but wait on average 6 years before getting help, at which point the ability to repair and improve the relationship is greatly diminished and infidelity or separation and divorce have occurred.
Counselling for relationships is most effective with couples when they come at the onset of decline in a relationship. Drs. Gottman, relationship researchers, stated the common signs of doom for a relationship are harsh startup to conversation, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and the most deadly, contempt.
Since what we learn about relationships comes primarily from the model that our parents give us and knowing that almost 50% of marriages end in divorce and many continue on in a state of unhappiness, the average person really doesn’t have the most effective tools to make a relationship successful much less happy.
Relationship counselling teaches couples effective tools for their relationship. Therapy also teaches clients how to manage perceptions, how to put the relationship first and ultimately improve communication so that the individuals turn towards each other rather than away from each other.
Even if both people in the relationship don’t want to attend, just one person can learn how to improve their relationship skills resulting in an improvement. This is because our behavior causes a reaction in the other person. If we change our behavior we can create change in our relationship.
4 Deadly Horsemen of Doom in a Relationships, by Dr. Gottman
Our relationship counsellor is a certified choice theory reality therapy therapist as well as having her Master's Degree in Mental Health Counselling from the United States She has also received Level 1 training directly from the renown Drs. Gottman. Lastly she has specialized training in Gestalt and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Ms. Fontana has over 6000 hours of training and continues to enhance her skills through continuing education.
If you would like to learn how to improve your relationship please do not hesitate to contact us to learn more at 9030 7239